3 Year Old Tantrums – 3 Simple Tips to Prevent a Meltdown

When your child hits the age of three, they’re trying to assert more of their independence than when they were two-years-old.  As a parent, it can be extremely difficult and frustrating to want to help a child, only to be told, “No”. And, when a parent tries to help anyway, a meltdown can ensue. What can you do to keep 3 year old tantrums from taking place?

Keep in mind that your child’s communication skills are much better at this age. They can verbalize more of what they want and need, which can lead to more arguments with their parents and causing a three-year-old tantrum.

You already know that, at this age, children are exploring their independence. They are always looking to do things without their parents’ help, and when your busy schedule is unable to afford the additional 10 to 15 minutes, it can set off a three year old temper tantrum like never before.


How can you lessen the chance of a meltdown and still get your way?


1 – Encourage Your Child To Seek Their Independence

Be sure you set up a time that you and your child can do a task that allows them to assert their independence.  Allow them to put up their own clothes – or whatever they are interested in doing – only helping so they can do the task in a more efficient manner. Thus, when you’re ready to get out of the house – on time – then it won’t take as long for them to get ready.

Two year olds can learn how to put on their jacket. Consider using the Jacket Flip Trick, which can help them successfully put on their coats. By getting them to wear their coats themselves, we’re actually getting them to unconsciously commit to their own actions. This is a powerful concept in NLP & useful tool.

Place the item on the floor, with the item outstretched. Have your child face it upside down, let their arms weave through the sleeves, use an upward swing motion and flip the piece over their head. When done, be sure to cheer for their success. Your child will eventually do the trick by themselves, which will give them some sense of achievement. Here’s a video showing how’s its done.


2 – Provide Them With Options

If you tell your child “no” repeatedly, you can pretty much shoot yourself in the foot. After all, being told “no” can get their temper tantrum going. Rather than using “no”, consider some type of positive remark instead. If your son doesn’t like picking up his toys, try another way to get him to do it.

Using the reframing method, you can make a game out of the pick-up. Make a race out of it, using an egg timer. Be sure that the entire event is fun.  The end result is teaching your kid the responsibility that comes with making a mess. Regardless of how long it takes to clean up, give your child praise and let them know that you are proud of their hard work.


3 – Tone Of Voice

The way you present your tone of voice to your child will play a significant part in how your child expresses his/her emotions. Consider playing role-reversal. If you were about to cry because someone is yelling at you, how upset would you be? Approach your child in a calming voice means you will be less likely to experience a tantrum.

Of course, your voice isn’t the only thing to keep calm. You need your body language to stay calm. When your child is unhappy, come down to their eye level. Your child is less likely to become defensive if you talk to them in a calm manner, at their eye level and provide them with options.  These things help in negating a three year old tantrum.

It’s all about communication. How you handle the child will play a significant role in whether or not your child has a temper tantrum.

There will be instances where snapping or yelling at your child are inevitable… at least from your point of view. Just remember though, a parent is the best role model in a child’s eyes. How you choose to show your emotions is how your child is likely to show his/her emotions.

If you still having problems, consider using language techniques to talk to your toddler.  Language techniques like NLP are not new and has been perfected by Chris Thompson in his “Talking to Toddler” audio program. Remember that everything your child does is helping them to grow. Even when things get tough, know that you will get through it with your child if you remain patient. Things will get better before you have to face another crisis!