Terrible Twos Help: 2 Simple Reasons Why They Do Silly Things!
Needing a little terrible twos help? You’re not alone. It can be very disheartening when your loving little infant son who used to delight in nothing more than snuggling in your arms and sucking on his pacifier becomes a mean, demanding, tornado-making, bite provoking, Blue’s Clue’s watching tyrant.
From pouring all the macaroni down the living room vent to sticking your older kids Legos up his nose, once your toddler hits two it seems like it becomes one difficult task to tackle after the other. Chances are if you have a child that has just entered his twos then you have already had to call your husband at work in a frantic tizzy saying “Where are the pliers? There’s a pea stuck in Luke’s nose!” or had to call up your mother instead to plead “Please, pretty, pretty please come and get this kid!”
Anyone who has ever gone through the terrible twos knows that this season in your child’s life can turn a household upside down. You can read all the books, ask for tips, tricks and ideas from other parents but the truth is that two year olds act as they please . . . and it can be very hard to get them to act otherwise!
But if you are reading this then we don’t have to tell you how hard parenting a toddler can be. We don’t have to tell you that the temper tantrums are daunting and the hours are endless – because if anyone knows – it’s you, mom!
So, in honor of moms like you who need a major break we’ve asked some of the top child experts for advice on how to cope with their two year olds when they all but go on strike. Here are their answers to your questions and the desperate plea of moms everywhere . . . “I need terrible twos help – now!”
My toddler can go from zero to totally angry in two point five seconds. He bites me and slaps me – even though I give him all of my time. Is this normal?
Yes! This is perfectly normal . . . although it’s not very fun for moms. It can be heartbreaking when your child treats everyone else with respect and kisses but instead comes and bites you when he gets angry. While it is disheartening to say the least for moms who love their kids unconditionally, it is actually a term of endearment for mom.
This is because a toddler’s view of the world is very one sided. He is yet to trust just anyone. His willingness to bite you and no one else is a sign of trust. Toddlers in the “terrible” twos phase can yet to control their emotions and feeling out of control is something they still can’t yet handle.
They need to let out these feelings and they will take them out on the person they feel safest with. This is because they know that even if they bite, pinch, kick or slap that mom will still love them. This doesn’t mean that you should let them bite you however. Instead just use positive reinforcement when your child does things that please you and explain to your child upon biting that he must use his words.
My toddler is into EVERYTHING. Do you have any toddler tips for keeping my little personal tornado maker at bay?
When moms beg for terrible twos help . . . and fast – the first thing I tell them is that your toddler is simply doing what he was hard wired to do. He’s exploring the world. Remember that your toddler’s only job is to figure things out. He wants to know if your Blackberry will float in the toilet. He wants to know if his rubber duck can fit in his mouth. He wants to know if Dad’s laptop will work in the bathtub and if the nuts and bolts from the tool box will fit in his nose and ears.
The first step to getting terrible twos help is realizing that you cannot change his need to explore. You can instill what’s ok and not ok but you cannot make him stop exploring. Giving him things he CAN explore can make a big difference.
For every “no” you say be ready to say “yes” to something else. “No you cannot put my phone in the sink . . . but you can put your bath toys in the sink.” “No you cannot have a cookie right now but you can have a peanut butter cracker.” It can be easily achieved using the double binds tool. Making substitutions can make all the difference in tantrums and happy toddlers.
When it comes to terrible twos help remember that no two kids are alike. What works for one child might not work for yours. The key is to just keep trying and remember that this too shall pass. If you still having problems, consider using language techniques to talk to your toddler. Language techniques like NLP are not new and has been perfected by Chris Thompson in his “Talking to Toddler” audio program. When you find something that works for you – stick with it . . . when you do you just might come away with the happiest toddler on the block.