Don’t Be Embarrassed: 3 Important Tips To Assist Parents Dealing With Difficult Children
How many times have you been in the grocery store and seen a parent dealing with a temper tantrum throwing child in the checkout line? Have you ever thought, “I am so glad that isn’t my child”?
All children, at one time or another, throw a tantrum. It’s a part of their growing up. It’s how you – and parents like you – handle it that determines if a child will continue being difficult. If you want some help dealing with difficult children, here are three worthwhile tips to ensure you gain back control over it.
3 Tips To Help Parents Deal With Their Stubborn Child
1 – Be Firm With Them
If you don’t want to be embarrassed by your child’s public outburst, you need to let them know now that the behavior is unacceptable at home and in public.
If your child is pitching a fit about being told no about another cookie, tell them you understand their feeling but they still are not getting the cookie. Be sure you set boundaries with them and be firm. Once they realize that you won’t waver even with their temper tantrum, they’ll quit throwing one.
The last thing you need to do is give into them. You cannot prevent them from throwing a temper tantrum by giving into them. You only give them the power to continue them. When you give in, you just show them that they can get what they want, if they cry louder and harder. It’s one of the biggest reasons children throw tantrums in public. They know they’ll get what they want… in the end.
Most parents feel bad when their children cry. However, if they don’t feel hungry, thirsty, sad or are hurt, just let them cry it out. If you give in, you just prolong the inevitable of them quitting the tantrum.
To avoid public embarrassment, parents tend to give in to their children. Don’t do this! You may think you’re a bad parent by telling them no or not giving them what it is they want. Remember though, boundaries are a good thing. And, they need to know what boundaries you have set for them. You certainly don’t want to give into every whim your child has. Do you want to raise a spoiled brat?
2 – Provide Them With Some Space
Many kids, when they throw a tantrum, just fall apart. If you notice your child is having a meltdown, give them some space so they can breathe. Trying to console them when they’re like this will just make matters worse. After they’ve settled down, then try and talk to them. Be sure you speak on their level – eyes and comprehension – using a calm voice. Be sure you make eye contact with them. I would use the state management and anchoring technique; firstly, acknowledge their concerns/fears (enter their world). Secondly, we’ll talk about past happy moments (bring back positive states) by triggering past anchors (pat on the back or using unique phrases). Most of the time, I managed to distract them & switch their state from negative resistive to a positive one.
3 – Provide Them With Some Options
Giving options to your toddler can be a real asset. When it’s time to do something, be sure you give them options. For example, when you need to go outside, ask them if they want help getting their jacket on or if they want to do it themselves. When you give them the choice, you let them decide and you get what you want… one way or another.
Children love the idea of being in control of something, and when it comes to difficult children, this is also true. For example using the double bind method, if you want them to go to bed, give them some options. “Would you like me to tuck you into bed or do you want to do it yourself?” If they don’t immediately decide, carry them to their room and tuck them in.
Next time the question comes up, they’re likely to walk themselves to the room and tell you which option they want. It’s a trick that works pretty much all the time. Give them choices to pick from and they’ll likely pick the right one. And, you still get your way!
When you’re a parent of a difficult child, it’s no easy feat. However, with the helpful tips above, you can deal with those nasty temper tantrums and fits as they come and eliminate them entirely.